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Situations involving others are stressful, and your anxiety interferes with your personal life, work life, school lifeand you are afraid that every relationship will end the same. Trusting people may take a very long time, and you are unsure what the criteria for trusting someone even is. You learned that it is safer to keep it all inside: your true emotions, thoughts, needs, wants, and preferences. You are afraid that people will reject, discard, ridicule, hurt, or use you. Or, we always giving in to their needs and their wants. We are emotionally unavailable to our partners. We feel as though we are unable to share our ideas at work for fear of being bullied, singled out, or shown that we are unacceptable in other ways. We feel unacceptable, so we have trust issues in intimate relationships.
In adulthood, this plays out in several ways. Alternatively, we learned that we can only trust our caregivers and no one else, not even ourselves, because the world is simply too dangerous. We dampen our emotions and reactions so that we will be acceptable to people who cannot accept us. We become unable to trust that we will be okay if we explore the world because our caregivers did not accurately reflect, comfort, or sustain us.Ĭonsequently, as adults we are unable to trust those around us because, historically, those who were the closest to us did not meet our needs when we needed it most. Problems arise when our caregivers are unable or unwilling to do these things. We rely on them to reflect our emotional states back at us so that we learn what is good, what is bad, what is appropriate, and what is inappropriate.
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